Complicated is just an excuse
by FelicitySmaug
Summary: "I wanted to talk to you. It's important." Felicity frowned and looked at him expectantly. "I love you." Felicity stopped breathing. Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "No." She whispered and stood up, heading towards her kitchen, Oliver following her. "No. You're not doing this to me again. Not today, not ever."


**This sucks. A lot. It started as a completely different idea... I don't know how it ended like this. OOC. It probably has a lot of mistakes in it, I don't have a beta and English is not my native language.**

**I don't own Arrow.**

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After Slade's capturing things in Starling City were a lot calmer. Well, the city was yet to be rebuild (again), they had to choose a new mayor (again), and they had to bury all the people that have died (unfortunately, again). But for Team Arrow and it's members things were calmer than before. They even got to spend some nights in their homes, with their loved ones. Well, Diggle got to do that. Roy, Oliver and Felicity had pretty much no one waiting for them at their homes.

Roy took Thea's leaving really bad. He spend most of his time on the streets, helping strangers rebuild their homes. The time he had left he spend at the foundry, rebuilding it, not really talking to anyone. Felicity felt bad for him. He was just a kid, he did not deserve this.

It took them three weeks to put the foundry back in order. The night everything was done, Oliver thought they deserved a night of celebrations. He, Felicity, Roy, Diggle, Lyla and Laurel gathered in the now closed Verdant and talked about the future. That's when Diggle and Lyla told them the news about the baby. Everyone stared at them in shock, Felicity being the first one to react. She jumped up from her chair and hugged them tightly. She was truly happy for them. Diggle was one of the best people she knew in this world and he'd make an amazing father. Roy was the next one to congratulate them (although with much less enthusiasm that Felicity) and Laurel followed him. Oliver was the last one and he had a weird look on his face.

"No way, man. You're not making me quit. My kid deserves to live in a safe city and I'll make sure Starling is safe. So wipe that look of your face and come over to congratulate us." Oliver laughed after Diggle's speech and followed his advice. He hugged Lyla first, congratulating her quietly and then pulled Diggle into a manly hug. Felicity stood a few feet away, looking at them. She smiled proudly at her friends. They've been through so much they deserved a little bit of happiness.

That evening Felicity was sitting on her couch, thinking about the night of the battle. More specifically, she was thinking about Oliver's words. For a second she really believed he meant it. She really believed that Oliver was in love with her. She was terrified by the feeling that overtook her when she heard the words coming out from his mouth and by the pain that replaced it once she understood his plan. Felicity wasn't in love with him, was she? She couldn't be in love with him, it would only make things weird between them. They didn't need that. She didn't need that. Reaching for her phone Felicity thought she needed to distance herself from him. She dialed a number and waited patiently for the answer.

"_Hey, Lis. What's up?"_

"Hey, Jen. I was wondering if you'd like to hang out tomorrow? Like, a girl's nights out?"

"_Of course, but it won't really be just us girls. My brother is back in town. Would you mind him joining us?" _Felicity sighed quietly. She really wanted to spend some time with Jennifer alone, maybe even talk with her about her problem.

"Sure, why not?"

"_Awesome. I'll call you tomorrow for details, okay?"_

"Okay, Jen. Good night."

"_Night, Lis. I can't wait."_

Smiling, Felicity placed the phone on the table, not noticing the shadow outside her window.

**FSxOQ**

Felicity had never actually met Jennifer's brother before but if judging by the way her friend looked, her twin should be tall, dark and beautiful. Which is why Felicity was pacing nervously in front of the restaurant they were supposed to meet.

"Oh my God, Lis, you look gorgeous!" She heard Jennifer behind her and turned around quickly. Felicity was immediately pulled into a hug. "I've missed you so much!"  
"Aw, I've missed you too, Jen." Felicity whispered and hugged her friend tightly. They met back at MIT and became friends immediately. After Felicity joined Oliver in his crusade she didn't had time for her friend and it killed her.  
"You're not gonna introduce us, sis?" A deep voice interrupted them and Jen scoffed.

"Lis, this is Jerome, my annoying twin brother. Jerome, this is Felicity - the light of my life." Felicity blushed as Jerome shook her hand. Okay, he was definitely one of the most beautiful men she's ever met.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Felicity." _Oh God, he's gorgeous. And his voice? Magical._

"You too." Jen rolled her eyes and grabbed them by their hands.

"Come on, let's go inside. I'm starving."

**FSxOQ**

Felicity entered the foundry slowly, trying to not get attention on her. She looked around, searching for Oliver and when she didn't saw him she sighed gratefully. Roy and Diggle looked at her.

"Damn, Felicity." Was everything Diggle said and she blushed. She was wearing a dark red dress that fitted her perfectly, black killer heels and a clutch the same color, so they could match. Her hair was down and she wasn't wearing her glasses. "Hot date?"

"Yep."

"With who? Do you know him? Did you ran a background check?"

"Calm down, John. He's one of my closets friends' brother. He's fine." Roy lifted one of his eyebrows and looked at her.

"Blondie, he has to be more than "fine" for you to dress up like that." Felicity blushed again and Roy laughed.

"Oh, shut up. I'm here to start the search you need, I'll be out in five." Sitting at her chair she quickly started the proper software for the search. In less than a minute she stood up again, nervously pulling her dress.

"Felicity, you look amazing. Calm down and go and have fun." She smiled thankfully and left the foundry.

**FSxOQ**

"This feels nice." Laurel spoke up, taking a sip from her wine. Oliver had invited her to join him for dinner. After Laurel found out his secret it was a lot easier for them to get close again. Not like the way they were before the island. They both knew that they couldn't be together like that. They were just friends and it was perfect. It was what they both needed after everything that has happened.  
"Yeah, it does. Are you ready to order?"

"Yep." She told her order to the waiter and looked around as Oliver spoke to him. "Oh my God!" Laurel exclaimed.

"What?" Oliver asked confused, looking around. That's when he saw _her. _She was looking so good he stopped breathing for a few seconds.

"She looks amazing!" _Yes, she does, _Oliver thought, not taking his eyes of her. He was hoping Felicity would look around and notice him, giving at least a smile but she looked way too interested in what the guy was telling her. Something stung in Oliver's chest and he didn't wanted to admit that it was jealousy. "Do you know who the guy is?" Laurel asked, looking at him carefully.

"No idea." Oliver simply replied, finally taking his eyes off of her. Ever since that night he couldn't stop thinking about her, about the way she was looking at him when he said those words. The realization, the hope, the _pain. _He kept telling himself that he wasn't, indeed, in love with her but even he knew it was a lie. If only their lives weren't that complicated.

Laurel watched Oliver quietly. She saw the wave of emotions wash over his face for a second and she understood. Now if only he'd admit it…

"Ollie? Is there something you want to talk about?" She asked quietly, hoping he'll open himself to her. Oliver shook his head and she didn't insisted. He'd talk to her when he was ready. She only hoped he'd actually be willing to admit his feelings.

**FSxOQ**

Things between Felicity and Jerome were going great. They were going out for five months. She was happy and thought that things between them were actually going to work out. That was, until she found out about the other woman. She was at the foundry, doing check ups on things, making sure no one was doing evil that night. Oliver was training with Roy and Diggle with Laurel. After noticing how slow her software had become, Felicity sighed to herself. The system needed updating and she had to do it tonight. She grabbed her phone, dialing Jerome's number, thinking about what exactly to say to him.

"_Hello?"_

Felicity froze. That was definitely **not** Jerome.

"Who is this?" Felicity asked quietly.

"_Camille, Jerome's fiancee. Who are you?" _The woman asked in return and Felicity took a shaking breath.

"No one. I'm no one." She whispered and ended the call. Tears blurred her eyes as she left the phone on the desk before her. She took another breath and jumped up from her chair. not looking behind her, she ran up the stairs, not hearing the yells after her. She ended up on one of the couches at Verdant, hugging her knees to her chest. She stood like that for a few minutes, crying her eyes out, when she heard steps approaching her. She buried her head deeper, not wanting to face whoever followed her here. Felicity felt someone sitting right next to her on the couch and a hand on her shoulder. This made her cry even harder so she faced the person and hugged them tightly.

"Shh, it's okay. Just let it out." Laurel whispered in Felicity's hair, swaying with her from side to side. She kept whispering things to the crying woman and when Felicity finally calmed down she pulled away from her. "Felicity, what happened?"

"He has a fiancee. I am the other woman..." Felicity whispered brokenly and Laurel lifted her eyebrows in surprise. "You know, I should've known that something like this would happen. I should've known it from the start. It was too good to be true." She kept talking, making Laurel frown. Felicity smiled brokenly and shook her head. "This always happens to me. I never get to have the happy ending and that's just it."

"Why are you saying this Felicity?"Laurel asked, placing an arm around the other woman's shoulders.

"I was engaged in college." That took Laurel by surprise. Felicity laughed quietly. "His name was Mark. We met the first week in school and we hit it off immediately. God, I was so stupid. He was so good with his words that made me fall for him. Hard. I think he loved me too at the beginning, but I'm not sure anymore. We dated for a year and then he proposed. Oh, it was romantic and I was so naive and blinded, that I said 'yes' immediately. I was so happy I never noticed the change in him. Then one night, after I decided to come home a day earlier from our break, I caught him sleeping with one of the freshmans." Laurel squeezed Felicity's shoulder understandingly. "I thought my life had ended. I really loved him, you know? And to see him with some stupid bimbo… It broke me. After that I thought I should focus on my education so I started studying harder than before. I graduated earlier and before I even left the campus I was already working for Queen Consolidated. When I moved here I met this guy, David. He was nice and I thought that I should give him a chance. The problem with David was, that our relationship was like a thunderstorm. We jumped in too fast and before we even knew it we were together because it was comfortable, not because we wanted to. So, we broke up. After that Oliver showed up and with this whole thing I didn't really had the time to look for a relationship." A new wave of tears took over her and she wiped the furiously. "After we captured Slade and got rid of him I thought that things were going to be 'normal' enough and that I could start dating again. And look at what happened."

Laurel stayed quiet for a long time. Since she found out Oliver's secret, she and Felicity spend a lot of time together, getting to know each other. They weren't exactly best friends, but they weren't just acquaintances or 'colleagues'. For the time she had known Felicity, Laurel understood one thing about the woman. It was time she understood that too.

"Felicity, you are one of the most amazing people I've ever met. You are smart, brave, kind, beautiful, forgiving, always fighting for what's right. You are remarkable and anyone that doesn't understands this, is not worth your tears. You're only 26! There's still time to find the one. And I'm sure that when you do find him it'll be so worth it. So, please don't waste your time for idiots. I understand that you're hurt and that you might need a day or two to recover. A week or a month even, I understand. But promise me this - don't give up. It sounds like a cliche from the worst chick flick you could think of, but don't give up on love. I'm sure you'll find it one day and you'll be happiest girl in this world." Felicity smiled through her tears and hugged Laurel again.

"Thank you." She whispered and stood up. "I'll go home now. Please tell them that I'll come back. I just need some time."

"Of course. Bye, Felicity." Laurel watched the blonde woman leaving the building and sighed deeply. "It's not nice to listen to people's conversations, Oliver." She said to the empty club and turned towards the door to the foundry. Oliver looked at her, vibrating with anger. "Oh, please. Don't tell me you'll go out and put an arrow through the guy's chest."

"He hurted her, Laurel. He lied to her and…"

"Oh, and you've never lied to her?" Laurel asked incredulously.

"What?" Oliver replied confused, getting angrier.

"When you told her that the 'I love you' was just for the mission, just to fool Slade Wilson. You lied to her." Oliver just looked at her, not saying a word. "Oliver, I can see that you're in love with her. Everyone can see it, except you and Felicity, apparently. Why don't you just talk to her?"

"It's… It's complicated, Laurel…"

"Actually, it's not. I understand that you're afraid of her getting hurt. I understand, that being the vigilante's girlfriend is extremely dangerous, I do. But are you willing to give her up, Oliver? Are you willing for her to just give up on waiting for you? Because I can still see it in her eyes. Even though she was with this guy, I could still see that little spark of hope, that maybe one day you will actually fall for her." Oliver just stood there, staring at her. "She'll not wait forever. Someday she'll give up on you and she will meet someone who's not afraid to tell her how he feels. Someone who doesn't over think every small step he takes. Someone who will give everything to be with her. And she'll leave you. She'll leave you and she will be happy. You tell me it's complicated - fine. It's just an excuse. And one day you'll run out of excuses and you'll want to be with her but she'll have someone else. Are you one hundred percent sure that when this day comes you'll be ready give her up? That you will let her go?" She saw tears in Oliver's eyes and sighed deeply. Laurel approached him slowly and placed her hand on his shoulders. "You know that I love you, Oliver. I want you to be happy and she can make you happy! You just need to let her do that." Laurel whispered and Oliver shook his head.

"I don't deserve her, Laurel. She deserves better than me." With that Oliver shook her hands of his shoulders and walked towards the back exit. Laurel sighed and shook her head.

"You are the better, Oliver. You just refuse to accept it." She whispered and walked back to the foundry.

**FSxOQ**

It took Felicity four days. Four days to cry all the tears she'll waste for a man again. For days to convince herself, that even though it felt like the end of the world she was still here. Four days for her to realize, that she is, in fact, better than this. On the fifth day Felicity woke up, got in her favourite grey dress, took her glasses and left for the foundry.

Everyone else was already there, of course. She smiled at them, stopped for a quick chat with Laurel and then sat at her place, doing her job. No one said anything, they just stood there and watched her. She was just about to snap at them when Diggle's phone started ringing. He looked at it and the look on his face showed everyone what exactly was happening at that moment. They all moved so fast, pulling him into Oliver's car. It took them fifteen minutes to get to the hospital, and in those minutes Diggle almost lost it only three times. At the hospital he almost lost it twenty times. After three and a half hours of Diggle digging a hole in the hospital's floor, a nurse finally showed up.

"Congratulations, Mr. Diggle. You have a beautiful daughter." Diggle pretty much lost it after that. Everyone jumped on him for a hug. Felicity and Laurel were crying and Roy and Oliver were just smiling like idiots. Diggle left to meet his baby for the first time and the others just stayed at the waiting room. After ten minutes he came back, asking everyone to follow him.

"Oh my God, she's beautiful!" Felicity whispered once they got into Lyla's room. Lyla just smiled proudly.

"Have you guys thought about a name?" Laurel asked, trying to take a better look at the baby. Lyla and Diggle looked at each other. Lyla nodded and Diggle smiled.

"Felicity Grace Diggle." Felicity dropped the flowers she was holding. She looked at him with wide eyes, not completely understanding what he just said. "Felicity, you are the best person I've ever known. I would love my daughter to be at least little like you. Strong, independent, smart and beautiful." Felicity kept staring at him, not saying a word.

"If you're not okay with it we can change it." Lyla spoke up. "But I'll be really happy to name her after you." Tears started running down Felicity's cheeks and smiled.

"It will be an honor." She whispered quietly and Diggle pulled her in for a hug. She started crying even harder. "This is… I don't really know what else to say." She wiped her eyes and looked at Lyla. "Can I hold her?" Lyla nodded and Felicity carefully took the baby in her arms.

"And since you are here, we wanted to ask Oliver and Felicity to be her godparents. If it wasn't for you, Oliver, me and Lyla wouldn't even be together again." Diggle smiled at both of them. Felicity looked up and smiled at Oliver. His heart stopped beating for a second. Felicity holding the baby was one of the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his life. He looked at Laurel and she lifted her eyebrows. She was right. She was right about everything.

"Of course, man. Of course." Oliver answered finally and they all laughed.

"Hey! If you wake up my goddaughter I will kill you! I have dangerous friends, I know how to do it!" Felicity whisper yelled and they just laughed again.

"Okay, guys. Let's leave them alone." Roy suggested and everyone started saying goodbye. He and Laurel left first, leaving the original trio a little more time together. Felicity was still holding the baby. Oliver bent down to kiss her on the forehead.

"Bye, Little Felicity. I can't wait to see you again." He whispered and Felicity felt her stomach tighten. Oliver looked her in the eyes for a moment and turned around to say goodbye to Diggle. Felicity looked at the baby and smiled.

"Oh, you are so beautiful! I'm sure one day you'll make the boys and your dad crazy." Felicity laughed and kissed her cheek. "Goodbye, sweetie. See you soon." She placed the baby in Lyla's arms and kissed the woman on the cheeks. "Congratulations and thank you."

"My pleasure." Felicity turned around and hugged Diggle.

"Bye, Dig." Diggle smiled at her and sat next to Lyla, looking lovingly at his two girls.

In the hallway, Oliver was pacing around, waiting for Felicity to come out of the room.

"Where are Laurel and Roy?" He heard her voice and turned around quickly.

"Um, they already left. Laurel said she had to go to her work for something and Roy… He just left." Felicity scoffed and Oliver laughed. "Do you need a ride back home?" Felicity looked at him weirdly. Why did Oliver looked nervous all of a sudden?

"Sure. I thought about going back to the foundry but after all of this I want to go home." She smiled and he led her out of the hospital. They drove in a silence for a few minutes when Felicity finally spoke up.

"I can't believe Dig is a dad!" Oliver laughed as he stopped at the red light.

"I know, right? But it's nice to have something good happening in our lives." Felicity smiled at him and nodded.

"Yeah. I just… It's still hard to believe that they want to name her after me. It feels weird."

"Well, I don't think it's weird. You really are the best of us." Felicity blushed.

"Yeah, right. The only thing I'm good at it's computers. I can't fight, I can't shoot arrows at people… Hell, sometimes I can't even walk three feet without tripping." Oliver laughed and they fell into a comfortable silence. A few minutes more and they reached her apartment building.

"Would you like to come in for some coffee? The last few hours were kind of like a rollercoaster."

"I would love to."

Oliver and felicity were sitting in her living room, drinking their coffees in a comfortable silence. _This feels nice, _Felicity thought. It was good to be comfortable in Oliver's presence again. The only problem was that she could not stop thinking about _that _night. Through her whole relationship with Jerome she caught herself comparing him with Oliver. It bothered her that Oliver always won.

"What are you thinking about?" Oliver asked quietly, making her jump.

"Nothing." She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. Oliver smiled and left his glass on the table.

"I wanted to talk to you. It's important." Felicity frowned and looked at him expectantly. "I love you." Felicity stopped breathing. Her eyes widened and she shook her head.

"No." She whispered and stood up, heading towards her kitchen, Oliver following her. "No. You're not doing this to me again. Not today, not ever." Her voice was quiet, _broken. _She walked around the small space of her kitchen, picking up things and leaving them at a different spot. She was doing everything she could to not look at him. Oliver sighed.

"I'm not doing anything. Felicity, please… Look at me." Felicity closed her eyes for a second, took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. "It's true. I love you. And how can I not? You're the most amazing woman I've ever known. That night, when I told you 'I love you'... I really thought I did not mean it like that. I lied myself and you, saying that it did not mean anything, because I knew that it would change everything between us. And I did not wanted that. At the moment, back then, I thought that just having you as my friend was enough. Then, after our little talk on Lian Yu I just… I couldn't stop thinking about this. About us." He sighed and rubbed his neck tiredly. "I want us. I want us to happen, but I am terrified. Just look at what happened after I came back from the island. The city was almost destroyed. Twice. You've had a bomb on your neck, almost killed by The Count, you've been shot and I, intentionally, asked you to put your life in danger when I told you those three words. That's why I am afraid, Felicity, and that's why I did not wanted to ever have this conversation with you. I thought that if I kept those feelings to myself everything will be okay. But then Laurel said somethings to me and I realized that I can't just let you go. I can't stay somewhere in the back and just watch you being happy with someone else. It sounds unbelievably selfish but it's the way I feel." Felicity saw tears and his eyes and her heart clenched. "I'm afraid of you ending up hurt or worse, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what could've happen, if I ever told you about my feelings." Oliver was sincere, Felicity was sure of it. She had never seen him so emotional. "I love you. I love you, Felicity Smoak, and I want to be with you. But I have to warn you - it won't be easy. I'll never stop worrying. I'll never stop trying to protect you from any potential danger. I'll probably keep some of the things form a past a secret for a long time. I'll snap at you, yell at you and get upset with you for stupid things. I'll probably try to push you away from me again. That's who I am. But all those things don't change the fact that I love you." A few tears had escaped his eyes and he wiped them slowly. He stared at her for a few long seconds. "I don't want you answering me right now. I understand that you will need time. I just needed you to know." When Felicity did not spoke up, Oliver sighed and turned his back on her. "I'll leave you alone now. Thanks for the coffee." He walked out of the kitchen, grabbed his jacket from the couch and headed towards the door. Just when he was about to open it he felt Felicity's hand grabbing his right arm. With a power he never expected from her, Felicity turned him around.

"I've made my decision." She whispered. Placing her hands on his cheeks, Felicity pulled his face towards hers, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss. Dropping his jacket, Oliver wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her closer to him. "I want to be with you, Oliver, but you need to understand one thing. If you ever pull something like this again, I will leave. I will leave Starling, I will leave the team and I will leave you. I will move to another city and I will make it impossible for you to find me, even with the help of Amanda Waller." Oliver's chest tightened just at the bare thought of never seeing her again. "Your whole speech was amazing, but unnecessary." Oliver lifted his eyebrows. "I know you, Oliver. I know you still have secrets. I know you worry constantly about every single one of us. I know that if I agree to be with you, which I am, you'll become super protective and would even let me go on a lot less missions. I've always known that, Oliver." Oliver smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "I have secrets too. Secrets, that I am not ready to share yet. But that's okay, because I know, that one day I will want to share them and you'll be there to listen."

"I swear." Oliver whispered and captured her lips again. "God knows how long I've wanted to do this." Felicity chuckled and started pulling him towards her bedroom. "Felicity, what..."

"If you follow me, I will show you what I've wanted to do for a long, long time."

**FSxOQ**

Hours later, Oliver was lying in Felicity's bed, holding her in his arms, carefully listening to her breathing deeply. God, he loved her so much. She was just so _good._ She was kind, brave, smart and so insanely beautiful. Oliver couldn't believe how lucky he was.

"O-li-ver." Felicity moaned in her sleep and he immediately looked at her, expecting to see her face twisted in terror from a nightmare. Instead of horror, Felicity's face was relaxed and was _smiling. _"I... love you." She whispered and buried her face deeper in his chest. Oliver stopped breathing. This gorgeous woman, the woman who brought him back to this city, the woman that helped him save this city so many times, the woman he was in love... She loved him back. She _loved_ him. Tears blurred his vision as he slowly kissed her hair.

"I love you, Felicity. I love you." Felicity sighed in her sleep and Oliver smiled. He was sure he did not deserved her, but he swore to himself that he'd do everything he can to be a better man. For her. _Everything for her._

* * *

**So, Jerome's an asshole, right? I know I should've thought more into that, or the time range... But honestly, I never even meaned to post this. It was a stupid idea and I needed it out of my head. **


End file.
